Friday, November 18, 2011

Friends First and Not Target

by Daniel Chiam



Veni, Vidi, Vici - I came, I saw, I conquered. That my friend, is the typical men's way of getting a girlfriend. I do not like to generalize, so I'll say it applied to most of the men out there. Men are goal oriented. They see what they want, and do everything in their power to try and get what they want.

The problem always occurred after men gets what they wanted. She is now my girlfriend and what comes after that? Communications break down, getting distance with each other, that feeling that was once there is no longer there, yada yada yada... Men move on with a new goal in life :D

I might be wrong and I most probably be right for the most part. Your thoughts is very much appreciated.

It's not about right or wrong but it's just not what I preferred. I've learned from experience and from my environment, relationship just doesn't function that way. So right now, this is what I much preferred to do.

First, make friends. Do not approach or talk to a girl with the thought of 'she is going to be my girlfriend' or 'this is my target' in mind. Your initial thought should be 'I wish to be friend with her'. Remember this guys, your wife IS your best friend. If you both can't start right as a friend, don't think too far about starting an intimate relationship with her.

Since we are trying to make friends, don't limit yourself with only one friend. Get to know more people and be friends with them. There is nothing to lose here, its all a win-win situation, rather than you pick a target, failed and get rejected or you pick a target, success and still failed at the end. The odds for broken heart is rather higher.

I always believe that to start a relationship right, is to start a genuine friendship first. Not be friend because I-want-to-court-you kind of friendship, but a genuine friend friendship. 

Okay, its going to be a long post. So I'm going to break it down in parts and post the other one on Monday, haha. Have a great weekend people! Go and make more friends!





"Seize the day, Caper Diem"


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18 comments:

  1. FloNovember 18, 2011 at 9:51 AM

    Yeah ! You are absolutely right. :=)

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  2. beatyNovember 18, 2011 at 10:03 AM

    yeah..DC betul tu start a friendship luk...mcm sa sama my fiance kan..we used to a childhood kawan..so from there start a serious realtionship lah..he he

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  3. edith thomasNovember 18, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    Yup. Be a bestfriend with strong foundation rather than experiencing communication breakdown later. :)

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  4. york mei ongNovember 18, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    Most relationship starts from friendship ;) If she's the one, you'll know eventually ;)
    -Hayley-

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  5. mouren kojunaNovember 18, 2011 at 10:43 AM

    Best friend is someone your can share everything. So, kalau mmg ngam di hati...the friendship become 'special relationship' trus. Great feeling tau, yay!

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  6. Aki BorneoNovember 18, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    but please, it's not a problem to make so many girlfriends.. but don't forget, please don't treat the girl like they are your girlfriend or they will misunderstood you.. nanti yang ko tia mau, suka sama kau, kuyak kau oh.. banyak kali sa rasa.. rasa bersalah tahap gaban tul ni..

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  7. sherylilie s.johnNovember 18, 2011 at 12:18 PM

    betul!!! i met so many guys who want more than a friendship after first meeting!. and then when i suggest to be friend first, they run away! ahahha..
    but never blame them.. some man a just afraid to take the risk of being rejected after a long friendship. i guess...
    :)

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  8. clarissa sayNovember 18, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Ahahahahhaha nooooooooooo So true!!
    Well, only in certain cases. It's one of the reasons I broke up with my recent ex *coughlosercough* At least you're brave enough to point this out. We need more guys like you, has this ever happened to you before?

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  9. aemy shamyNovember 18, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    hi5!!! hehe. nice tips, mate! me & my boyfriend started as friends and now we're like siblings..being crazy together is fun. hehehe ^^

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  10. shaira parveenNovember 18, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    another inspiring entry from my buddy! loikee! and yes, sa nda suka juga tu kalo mo cpt2 more than a friendship.. mcm saturang kwn llki sy,baru kwn biasa2 pastu dia ckp
    "agak2 bila kita blh kapel?" agak2 la sangat T__________T

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  11. shaira parveenNovember 18, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    another inspiring entry from my buddy.loikeeeee it! hehe. anyway, i agreedddd with u. starts with a friendship tu lg twice better. sbb sa ada 1 urg kwn llki,baru kawan biasa2 trus dia lamar sy "agak2 bila kita boleh kapel?" agak2 dia sangat laaaa T______T ppun nda suka ni rush2 things so better kenal hati budi dulu.kehkeh :P

    ReplyDelete
  12. Diana Diane TeoNovember 18, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    Absolutely agree with you. My bf and I started from being friend and then become best friend. Then now couple. Even after become couple, I still treat him as my best friends. Like what I tweet recently:

    "The best relationship is when you both can act like lovers and best friends. That's how I treat my boyfie :D" - http://twitter.com/dtdianateo

    ReplyDelete
  13. CutebunNovember 18, 2011 at 10:38 PM

    True. Having intention of getting another to like you is inappropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  14. CherrieMiaNovember 19, 2011 at 8:08 AM

    Ha Ha Ha..kinda true! I should post this. Hehe.Girls doesn't like a guy yg jumpa2x saja terus mahu kapel. Bikin takut eh.Tapi ada juga bila kita treat like friend and when like 6mths or a year after that dia bawa kapel and when rejected they all trus cut u frm life. Tu lagi sandih...anyway that's life perhaps.

    ReplyDelete
  15. [SK]November 19, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    hmmm, you have your point there.. make more friends and then let the fate brings both of you together, this could be more long lasting.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. ZRnNovember 19, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    I do like this..:)

    ReplyDelete
  17. ZRnNovember 19, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    I do like this..:)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Fay BalocheNovember 21, 2011 at 6:37 AM

    Like this!! hehe

    ReplyDelete

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