Monday, November 21, 2011

Communications before Feelings

by Daniel Chiam




In my first part of the series - Friends First and Not Target, we end the subject with go and make friends first. Now guys, it is important for you to understand that our goal here (or at least my goal) is for a long term relationship. The one that can end in marriage, kids, grandchildren and till death do us apart.

The thing about wanting to have a good long term relationship, is that you must willing to invest in time, effort and patience. Good relationship doesn't happened overnight. You must build it up from ground zero.

Communications is the main material to build a good and strong foundation. At the friend stage, you are being given a comfort zone to initiate conversation whenever you want. Good evening, how was your day so far? Hey remember about the event that I told you about last time? Yada yada yada... you get the point.

Get comfortable as friend and get to know as much as possible about each other. Don't jump into conclusion too quick and start assuming things. Assumption always make things worse. Remember, building good relationship takes a lot of time. Learn to give chances to discover about each other; basically do some activities together.

Now the most common mistakes at the early stage of this level is when the feeling starts to intervene, and we start to entertain that feeling. We have the urge or a sudden confident that we are ready to take it to the next level. We starts to ignore the fact of how little we know about each other, how comfortable we are around each other and the compatibility of our purpose in life. That feeling is called - infatuation.

It happened sometimes and it's important that you understand what that feeling were, instead of beating down yourself so hard when you are being rejected. Not everyone will fail, but whats the percentage of success when you try to rush things?

All I'm trying to say is, don't rush. Take your time and build that bridges among friends. Communicate with them and see if you can get along in every situation. As friend you get to learn how to deal with each other, witness the good and the bad about each other and most importantly it helps you to discover is she's the right one for you. Once you get to know your circle of friends, then only you start highlighting your potential target.

If you have a problem talking to a girl, then I suggest you learn how - NOW.





"Seize the day, Caper Diem"
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19 comments:

  1. ArmsNovember 21, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Once you get to know your circle of friends, then only you start highlighting your potential target.

    The sentence above is a WIN. Pure win. Hahaa.

    ReplyDelete
  2. aemy shamyNovember 21, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    i love that infatuation word ;)
    i don't know what else to say, every word has been written up there..well said! i gotta share this post to my boyfriend ;)

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  3. FiShNovember 21, 2011 at 8:42 PM

    well i guess it happens on me too, but talking to guys requires a total different way i assume :)

    -FiSh
    ohFISHiee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. ReanactNovember 21, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    wow.. you sound like a professional where love and relationship is concerned! Now I know who I shall refer to when someone is having some "problems!" :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Aki BorneoNovember 22, 2011 at 7:28 AM

    But for me, 'Good Relationship' does happened overnight.. Ha ha ha.. Well said DC.. You say it all.. Perfect.. But one more thing, girls are actually not that complicated.. Trust me.. ^_^.v..

    ReplyDelete
  6. edith thomasNovember 22, 2011 at 7:40 AM

    Likey.. Love your posts. Been having 'some' kind of feeling lately, and now I'm sure that I should take thing slow.. and dont simply jump into some 'conclusion'. ;p

    btw.. good morning daniel! :p

    ReplyDelete
  7. beatyNovember 22, 2011 at 10:44 AM

    dc..thumbs Up!!! Love it..

    yeah..erm kami dulu kawan2 saja ni..erm more than 10 years suda realationship kami..u know what my fren baru ja declare 3 bulan suda pustus bah..then sa tanya knp..he say he don't like the girl punya sikap..suka ni mau control..ko tau lah dc leleki susa sikit ni mau cntrl..

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  8. Coffee GirlNovember 22, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    Why would any guy have problems talking to any girl? Just open any neutral subject. I say, learn a few original pickup lines, and make it sound very natural. Approach with confidence, not with fear. You have nothing to fear, A girl generally feels flattered that you would even talk to her. Even if you look ugly, if your conversations are intelligent and not at all overbearing, a girl would still be impressed. Of coz not to the point of falling in love with you, but those are shallow thinking. :-)

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  9. Daniel ChiamNovember 22, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    For The Win man... haha my brotha from another motha... xD

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  10. Daniel ChiamNovember 22, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Haha share it to all his guy friends too :P

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  11. Daniel ChiamNovember 22, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    Haha Mars vs Venus. Men and women are different in many way.

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  12. Daniel ChiamNovember 22, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    I'm not a professional. Haha, I'm just sharing my interest in human behavior here :D

    ReplyDelete
  13. Daniel ChiamNovember 22, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    If you know that person well, nothing is complicated :D

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  14. Daniel ChiamNovember 22, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    Haha good day to you too ^^ Why rush right? The best is yet to come :D

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  15. Daniel ChiamNovember 22, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    Okay perhaps my final remark doesn't sound like what it suppose to be. Haha, I should use the word 'communicate' instead of 'talking'. My bad.

    I guess most guys don't have a problem talking to a girl but instead they always have problem communicating with girls. By communicating I mean other than flirting, emotional stuff, serious stuff, commitment et cetera...

    Haha have a nice day :D

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  16. Daniel ChiamNovember 22, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    Haha thats why I prefer to know how they are as a friend first rather than knowing about it later in a relationship.

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  17. kamaryeahNovember 22, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    i totally agree to what you said...cause eventually not all guy knows how to communicate with girls...communication occurs from both parties so the topic should suit both parties and not just one of them..for instance guys talking about sports or girls talking about accessories...this may sometimes lead to boredom and thus end any potential relationship in future...

    p/s: what if you try talking about friendship after breakup?? or have you??

    http://kamaryeahtajuddin.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Coffee GirlNovember 23, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    talking is part of communicating. Hahaha. it's the ultimate ice breaker

    ReplyDelete
  19. MeiTzeu LeeFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:39 PM

    Communication, a link to good relationship. :)

    ReplyDelete

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